Popping the Question

New love is exciting. Back when every time something happens, it’s “the first time,” and you take the time to point out and celebrate every first as you encounter it. Or at least you do in the good relationships. It’s cute though, in that observing a newborn puppy from behind the glass of a pet store in the mall sort of way. After a while though, you gradually start to notice that your amount of firsts are piling up, which signifies that you’re with someone awfully special and loving every minute of it. You know that soon you’re going to have some big life-altering questions to ponder. The days start passing by quickly and suddenly you’re holding hands while walking into a grocery store, then celebrating Valentine’s Day together, then exchanging “I love you’s” for the first time and then moving in together all within the blink of an eye. You know in your heart that one of the most terrifying questions in your life is bound to come up soon and you don’t think you’re ready to face it yet. Sure, you’ve seen friends in this situation before and they’ve come out unscathed, but alternatively, you’ve also seen relationships crash and burn over the very same question. One day, without warning, she senses your hesitation and becomes tired of waiting. She then proceeds to bring up the most fearsome question in all of coupling: “What did you want to do for dinner tonight?”

You’re stricken with fear. Sweat begins beading high up on your brow and slowly trickles down your face before you ever know what’s hit you. No amount of relationship advice could have prepared you for this day, but alas, here you are at Defcon 5. Your friends had always told you that you were afraid of commitment and now that’s the only thought rattling around in your subconscious. Suddenly she’s giving you options: Burgers? Chinese? Sandwiches? You’re reminded of that scene from A Christmas Story where Ralphie comes face-to-face with Santa only to draw a blank on what he wanted to ask for Christmas. “Football? What’s a football?”


The future of your relationship hangs in the balance. Is she testing me? Is there one that she’d prefer over the other and she’s trying to find out if I’d choose the correct answer while under pressure? In a snap decision, you only slightly coherently blurt out “burgers!!” and wait through the uncomfortable pause while she evaluates your answer. These next few moments feel like an eternity. Did I choose correctly? “Yeah, burgers sound good to me too, I’ll pick some up on the way home.”

YEEEEEES!!!!!!! You did it, ole’ champ!! You managed to survive this particular round, but don’t go getting all cocky now because this is the first of many more conversations just like this one. The answer could have just as easily been: “Hmm… I did burgers for lunch yesterday, maybe I’ll get Chinese tonight.” If that had been the case, then you’d have been saddled with the task of choosing dinner for the next few nights without any suggestions… and yes, you would have been graded. The minor leagues are over now, kid. Welcome to the show. You won't be needing that supportive cup any more.